Hi! My name is...

I always start blogs, but I can never keep up with them. And then three years later, when one day I feel like blogging again and return to my previous blog (the last one left unfinished), and it looks like something I shouldn't tamper with and I just don't feel like writing on it anymore. Just because it was written at a different period of time, when I was living within a different mindset and it's turned into something I can only relate to now, but cannot go back to being that me. If that makes sense.

Yeah, I know, people go through changes continually, and yet write in the same blog for years and don't feel like they are messing up the portrayal of their previous self by infiltrating their blog with entries from their newer self but in their case it is a continuous process. Whereas if you stop for a while which ends up being a "gap year" or whatever, you've moved on when the blog hasn't, and why the hell would you feel like getting it up to date? I mean, I guess you could, but that would mean you are recollecting memories from a year, or six months back and it's just not...the same as coming back in the evening with musings you've had throughout the day and you mix them up together and come up with a more personal piece of writing which is the key difference between the two.

Having said that, I did use my LJ three years in a row. But every time I restarted after being away for a while, I'd always erase all the previous entries and start afresh (well, I saved them in a doc but I later forgot the password to it). But it always remained something I could go back to (well, until I added people from Woodford County on it, and then they took me off the list which got me bitter and my beloved blog "tainted").

There's always two things that do not change in any of my blogs. Constant apology/"wondering" if what I just wrote made any sense (when it clearly should be "knowing". I am still confused as to whether this falls under criticising my own self or assuming my readers are dumb). And the other thing is my constant referral to my LJ. crazy_punkchild (That's another reason for me dumping LJ. (I can hear paku sniggering in my head.)). Twas like first love between LJ and I. It opened up doors and windows (and bin lids) in my mind. So, my relationship with any other blog will never be the same.

I have changed so much in the last few years. Especially so, in the last ... bleh. Just thought that it's worth mentioning.